I remember the first time I heard a business coach use the phrase “your mess is your message.” On the one hand, it clicked an “aha” for me, in terms of how to present myself and my work. On the other hand, it made me recoil in horror.
I couldn’t possibly share the REAL messes of the REAL me — ESPECIALLY if they involved other people — I would lose all my credibility, no one would EVER want to work with me or buy ANYTHING from me ever, I’d be ostracized and would ultimately die penniless and alone.
Sound like an exaggeration? OF COURSE IT IS.
But this is how SHAME works. When there’s even a wee bit of shame lodged in the nervous system, even if it’s from many years ago, it puts up the smokescreen:
STOP! DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS! IF YOU TELL, NOBODY WILL LIKE YOU! YOU WILL BE ALOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!
Notice the mechanism at work?
Shame keeps itself alive, by shutting down your voice.
The more you DO NOT talk about something, the more Shame wins.
The more you buy into its clever story, the more THE THING THAT HURT YOU continues to dominate the world, sucking others into its fold, continuing to harm others.
THE POINT is to stop shame in its tracks by SPEAKING ABOUT THE THING THAT HURT YOU. Once you have shined the light on it, the shame gremlin goes scurrying away, and loses its power over you, and diminishes its power to infect and disempower others, too.
Of course you don’t need to blab every detail of your most traumatic experiences to everyone. Be discerning in what needs to be shared, and with whom.
But ultimately, if you’re upleveling your life and business, there’s some way in which SOME part of you is going to reveal itself in a cry for love, and it will be your fear, your self-doubt, your shame, your innermost secrets that you hope nobody ever finds out.
And it’s in those dark corners that your superpowers lie.
Even if you never write a book about your life path, or create a TEDx talk sharing wisdom you’ve gained along the way, YOUR MESSAGE is hidden in the dark recesses that you’d rather avoid like the plague.
The message from YOUR SOUL TO YOU is hidden in treasures, that have been locked up in pockets of stored emotions: shame, fear, anger, disappointment, sadness…
If you’re noticing resistance to getting your message into the world in a bigger way…
If you can’t seem to get out of your own way…
If you KNOW what you need to do but you can’t quite seem to do it…
It’s a clue that our sneeeeeeaky leeeeettle friend Shame is running the show.
And we are about to fall in love with it.
*cackle cackle* (insert nefarious laugh here)
Okay. Maybe you won’t quite fall in LOVE with it (though I must confess that is my ultimate not-so-secret agenda)… but let’s at least start to understand how to unlock the superpowers hidden in the dark corners.
This is one of the many areas I’ll be diving into during tomorrow’s Live Online Event :OWN YOUR VALUE: Charge What You’re Worth and Quantum Leap Your Income.
Because you can’t own your value until you own the value of the life that you’ve lived… which includes all the shitty things that have happened along the way… and you truly, deeply, compassionately see, the way you’ve been perfectly set up — to quantum leap your life, based on the treasures that have been locked up in shame, fear, inadequacy, doubt, and the whole gang of saboteurs.
(I am overflowing with archetypal metaphors all of a sudden, seeing Voldemort (from Harry Potter… you know, “he who shall not be named”…) and Darth Vader and the classic archetypal characters pouring into my awareness… apparently this online event will require the use of magic wands and light sabers!
USE THE FORCE!
Activate your superpowers by clicking here to register free for tomorrow’s live online event (and receive the recording).
Reclaim your power from the stuff you’d really, REALLY rather not talk about, and you win the game.
Much love and “hot mess” glory,