There’s a phenomenon that happens for women leaders at a certain stage of their evolution – the place where they’ve hit their targets and are living what an earlier version of themselves would have labeled “success.”  

A keen intellect and a good work ethic got them here.  But… now what?   The next stage of their development as women, as leaders, and as humans cannot be accessed either by learning, strategy, or productivity.

*blink*  *blink*

“So, uh, how exactly do I get there?”

These smart, successful women are extraordinary at executing strategies and getting shit done.  “Give me the roadmap!”

Righto.  About that…

This developmental stage transition presents a fork in the road, with two paths ahead:  

1)     The Familiar:  Keep on doing what you’ve done before, and watch yourself dry up, feel empty, get bored, create sabotage,  lose your libido, try harder to figure it out, hire more experts, or even engage in more self-care, hoping the answer will come in the pleasure and relaxation of a spa day or a renewed commitment to Pilates classes.

 2)     The Divine “Fuck It”:  Drop the pretense, let go of the identity of being a woman who has all her shit together, remember what lights your soul on fire, and go BE THAT.   

The Familiar path allows the old patterns of control to keep running the show.  “Maybe if I control all the variables EVEN MORE, and have a better plan and strategy or just get more EFFICIENT, I’ll get there.”

The Divine “Fuck It” path invites surrender.  Self-trust.  Remembering what your intrinsic drive and knowing feels like.   Breaking the “rules” you’ve created for yourself along the way.

The Familiar path maintains the illusion of comfort by remaining “responsible” – to obligations, social norms, professional standards, expectations set by unnamed unknowns with who-knows-what agendas.

The Divine “Fuck It” path demands that you become responsible to your joy.  To your creative life force.  To the shimmering seed of aliveness inside you that’s been lying dormant while you built up the scaffolding of conventional success.  

The Familiar path feels safe.  You can fit in.  Avoid judgment.  Be normal.   Die just a little bit more every day, instead of living with soul ablaze until your time’s up.

The Divine “Fuck It” path guarantees uncertainty.  Questions.  Being misunderstood.  Defying convention.   Listening to the music within that nobody else can hear.   Attuning to an invisible, un-nameable non-linear inner compass that seems to make no sense.

You know if you’re on the Familiar path or the Divine “Fuck It” path by the flow of aliveness coursing through your body.  It’s about far more than “passion,” or “flow states,” or even gratitude.

The Familiar path feels… familiar.   Like yesterday.  And the day before.  And last week. And last year.

The Divine “Fuck It” path demands acute presence.  It’s emergent.  Surprising.  Spontaneous.  And, much to the mind’s confusion, it feels so, so, so very right.

“Um, so how do I create the next level of my business from spontaneity?  Is there a template for that?  How do I know it will work?   How can I be sure I’ll succeed?”

*bam* the switch just flipped.


“When I have XYZ and it looks like this, I’m there.”

Or “when I feel alive, congruent, on fire, and in flow, I’m there.”  

Yes, but… if I am only choosing based on how I feel, how do I know it’s going to work?

Life will give you feedback about what you believe.  If you believe that prioritizing how you feel is a bad thing, life will reflect it back to you in assorted ways to get your attention.


The Great Unhooking comes when you really, really “get” that the next level is ONLY created from the inside-out – from your mastery of your inner cosmos, after decades of being the good student who learned how to follow rules, strategies and templates provided by someone “out there.”

All the focus you placed into learning, time-managing, efficiency, smart strategy, and “how to” skills, still matters.  It’s just not leading anymore.  

Your focus goes inward now.   What’s happening in my world, and what frequencies is it activating inside me?  How am I holding the energies that are alive in me right now?  What is the internal posture that allows my intrinsic essence to pour through me like a force of nature, unbridled and free?

M A S T E R Y.

Master your inner cosmos and doors fly open, the wind fills your sails, and your global impact exponentially expands.

It’s no longer enough to “get results.” 

HOW you get results matters.  A lot. 

And if you’re not enlivened, juicy, wild and free AS you create, you’ll find that there’s nothing “there” when you arrive, that you actually wanted.